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Do I really need a boyfriend/girlfriend?

Posted By:  Mkpoikanke Otu on April 26, 2020  

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A boyfriend is a regular male companion with whom one is romantically or sexually involved, while a girlfriend is a regular female companion with whom one is having a romantic or sexual relationship with. Such relationship involves two persons –a “boy and a girl”, “a boy and a boy”, “a girl and a girl”, “a man and a girl”, and “woman and a boy” who may be classmates, school mates, neighbours, brethren, colleagues, Facebook friends, Instagram, WhatsApp, and Twitter fans.

Such a relationship is mostly short-term, deadly, demanding, threatening, planless, purposeless, undirected, unguided, aimlessly drifting, deceitful, lustful, and immoral. It is initiated and maintained for needless reasons. Be warned! I don’t think you need to be in a boy-girl friend relationship because of its ugly end and unpleasant consequences.

The End of a Boy-Girl Relationship

The end of a boy-girl friend relationship is not pleasant at all. It is ugly and highly problematic. It has already ruined the lives of thousands of people, especially youths, and has devastated their future and make them useless and confused.

This relationship may not end in marriage because the people involved are not ready for marriage. They may deceive themselves by having false undefined hope that they will marry. However, in a few cases, it may result in a regrettable marriage. Thus, marital success is not guaranteed for boyfriends and girlfriends who end up marrying. Therefore, there is no need to have a boyfriend/girlfriend.

Consequences of having a boyfriend/girlfriend

The consequences of having a boyfriend/girlfriend are numerous:

—  It may increase the chance of being involved in premarital sex.

—  It may give birth to lack of concentration, poor attention span, low self-esteem, poor academic achievement, indecision, lack of self-confidence, wrong choice of spouse, delayed marriage, fear, anxiety, sexually transmitted infections, HIV, unwanted pregnancy, abortion, school dropout, anger, emotional trauma, depression, and poor time management and other medical and psychological problems.

—  It may cause defilement of spirit, soul, and body.

—  Its activities may displease God.

—  It can delay marriage.

—  It can increase the chance of making a wrong choice of whom to marry.


How to avoid entering into a boy-girl friend relationship

·            Don’t desire it

·            Understand that you will still marry if you don’t have boyfriend/girlfriend

·            Make a decision not to have one

·            Set godly values to guide your life

·            Seek the grace of God to help you

·            Wait patiently for your husband or wife

·            Understand the reason why you don’t need such a relationship

·            Study the consequences of the relationship

·            Don’t be idle in mind. Occupy your mind with the thought of your purpose

·            Find out who God is to you and fear Him

·            Get wise counsel

Take a stand now to say “no” to boyfriend/girlfriend relationship

I counsel you to take a stand to say “no” to boyfriend/girlfriend relationship so you might lead a successful life. This counsel is in line with the fundamental rules of God which must be maintained by all. For instance, one of the fundamental rules is that you should not arouse or awaken love until it so desires (Song of Songs 2:7, NIV). You can agree with me that boyfriend/girlfriend relationship arouses and awakens love and that violets the fundamental rule of God. Therefore, stay away from it and wait for the time appointed for you to marry.

Also, look at this: “You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God (James 4:4). One way people become friends in the world is to have a boyfriend/girlfriend. This is because the concept of boyfriend/girlfriend was invented by the world and it is controlled by the world. Whoever is involved in it does not belong to God. You can make your choice now! Whom do you belong? Is it God or the devil (the world)? If you belong to God you need to say no to boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind (Romans 12:2). The standard of this world, in this context, is having a boyfriend/girlfriend. Change your mind from it completely so God can transform your life.

The final counsel on this matter is: “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what [a]fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what [b]communion has light with darkness? 15 And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? 16 And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you[c] are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will dwell in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they shall be My people.” 17 Therefore “Come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you.” (2 Corinthians 6:14-18)

You are too important and valuable to be wasted in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. The Lord desires that you take a stand to say “no” to it so you can become His temple (Dwelling place or house). He wants you to be relevant to His kingdom. Accept His invitation to stand for Him now.  Here I am (Christ)! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me (Revelation 3:20). Don’t miss this opportunity to meet with the Lord Jesus. God bless you. [Related Articles: “15 False Things People Say about having Boyfriend/Girlfriend”; “Getting it right in relationship matters”]


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