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The Value of a Woman

Posted By:  Mkpoikanke Otu on May 01, 2020  

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Six years ago, I heard a guy telling his girlfriend on a phone call to take a picture of her breast and her ‘private part’ and send it to him so he can sleep. Three years down the line, a mature lady told me that a guy who was interested in her once embarrassed her by sending his nude picture to her. This kind of embarrassment has been recurring in recent time and I began to wonder where the current generation of young people are heading to.

Recently, during our online relationship seminar, I heard abusive cases of boyfriends placing demand on their girlfriends’ nude pictures, and it dawned on me that women are suffering in the hand of their so-called relationship partners. I rediscovered the need for women and men to understand the value of womanhood, peradventure this would help to curtail the degree of abuse, embarrassment, and harassment women are facing in their relationships. I will create an understanding of who a woman is, the value of a woman, and how to regain and retain the value of a woman.

Who is a woman?

One of the respectful ways to describe a woman is that "a woman is a wife or a would-be wife”. Another way to describe a woman to portray the real meaning of the word is that "a woman is a mother due to her compassionate heart and ability to care and give comfort” (Isiah 49:15). To this end, every woman, irrespective of age, has the potential to be a wife and a mother.

A woman can be compared to the life of our Lord Jesus Christ which was a model of motherly love. Also, a woman is likened to the Holy Spirit in terms of quietness and intercessory ability. Thus, a woman is by nature a symbol of both the Lord Jesus and the Holy Spirit in terms of caring, compassionate, comfort, and intercessory abilities.

Therefore, a woman is not a second class citizen of any nation, family, household, organization, or religious denominations. She is not the second version of a human being or a lower part of man. In terms of creation, she is in the same category as a man and shares equal inheritance with man, especially if she is in Christ. She is valuable and important in the same way as a man.

On that note, a woman is not synonymous with disrespect, abuse, embarrassment, harassment, insult, dishonor, and disregard. Rather, the word “woman” implies tenderness and courtesy. It is true that “the woman” was taken from the man (Genesis 2:23), therefore the man has preeminent, but yet honour is to be given to the woman “as unto the weaker vessel”. Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered (1 Peter 3:7; ref. 1 Corinthians 11:1-3; 8-9). This shows that in the plan of God there is due relation of the sexes. The men are to be acting wisely with tenderness, forbearance, and care towards the women. The ‘weak’ nature of women in terms of their tenderness and courtesy should not be their disadvantage. Rather, it should be their advantage because God designed them to be tender and forbearing so they can perform their responsibilities as wives and mothers.

Though this instruction was given in the marriage context, those who are not married yet need the instruction also to know how to relate with the opposite sex. It may be true that a guy who is abusing girls will abuse his wife more. Likewise, a girl that subjects herself to be abused or maltreated by a guy may get to a worse state of her life when she is married. This is because people do not suddenly change when they get married. Their behaviours, characters, and attitudes do not suddenly change from negative to positive. Instead, marital stress may make them change from positive to negative. Therefore, the best time to understand the value of womanhood is when one is not married.

The value of a woman

The first value of a woman is that God created her in His image

 God values women the same way He values men because there is no partiality in Him (Romans 2:11): “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth" (Genesis 1:27-28). This quotation from the Holy Scripture shows that God gave man and woman the same blessing to be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over every living thing that moves on the earth. This was not given to the man alone, but to both the man and the woman at the same time. Therefore, men should recognize that women have the same dominion mandate they have to rule over the earth. Also, women should equally recognize that God has given them the right to rule. However, there must be order in the ruling, especially at home, and that is why God placed the husband as the head of the wife and ordered the wife to submit to her husband (Genesis 3:16; Ephesians 5:22). The purpose of this is to create a good administrative climate where the husband and the wife take their respective responsibilities and positions without chaos. The husband is not superior to the wife neither is the wife inferior to the husband. Both, are equal, important, and valuable even while taking their respective responsibilities and positions at home. This is still applicable in the relationship context. The man who is seeking to marry a woman is not superior to the woman and the woman is not inferior for any reason.

However, my point of emphasis here is that every woman must realize that she was created in the image of God, and she must cherish that and place a high value on herself. The value a woman can place on herself in this context is that of maintaining the image of God. She can do that by keeping herself away from sin. If she losses that image she is losing her value. At that point, she will be good for nothing, and men will be playing her as a game in relationships. “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt should lose its taste, how can it be made salty? It’s no longer good for anything but to be thrown out and trampled on by men (Matthew 5:13). For those He foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brothers. And those He predestined, He also called, and those He called, He also justified; and those He justified, He also glorified (Romans 8:29-30). Any woman that maintains the image of God in her life by refusing to kiss, fondle, masturbate, have sex, lie, abort, or commit other sins will be glorified at the end.

The second value of a woman is that Jesus bought her with a high price of His blood

 Don’t you know that your body is a sanctuary of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought at a price. Therefore glorify God in your body” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). This understanding will keep anyone away from anything that defiles the body. Just think about how you value any important or precious thing you bought with a high price –you won't let it fall on the ground. But the blood of Jesus is higher than any price you can imagine, and He used it to buy you so your body can be without sexual immorality. He wants to use your body as His temple because He paid for it by His blood, and that shows the value He has for you.

Therefore, who is that man or woman that should devalue your precious body that Jesus bought? Why should there be fornication, masturbation, lust, pornography, sexting, and kissing when your body was bought by the Blood of the Lord? Shouldn't you wait till you marry before you experience sexual activities because marriage is honourable and the marriage bed is undefiled? (Hebrews 13:4). Would you want the blood of Jesus to be in vain in your life? Or would you want to see Him go to the cross again?, and that’s not possible! If not, check what you do with your body and keep it Holy for the Lord. This would mean you placing a high value on your body to the point that you can’t defile it irrespective of any terrible situation you may find yourself. You can prefer to go hungry, live in abject poverty, or die than to defile your body and become rich. You can equally prefer to be unmarried than to defile your body in sexual immorality and get married. If all the men around you want to have sex with you, and you value your body the way Christ valued it, you will prefer to be unmarried than to defile your body and marry. For what does it benefit a man (or a woman) to gain the whole world yet lose his (or her) life? (Mark 8:36). I believe if you value your body and decide to keep it holy everyone else will value it too and God will never disappoint you.

The third value of a woman is that God gives her the Holy Spirit and gifts of the Spirit

 And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh; your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, and your young men shall see visions. Even on the male and female servants in those days, I will pour out my Spirit” (Joel 2:28-29). For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.  For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him so that we may also be glorified with him (Romans 8:14-16). Women are given the same Holy Spirit that men are given. Therefore, they are both valuable children of God if they are led by the Spirit. They can manifest all the gifts of the Spirit and they can function as pastors, prophets, evangelists, apostles, teachers, administrators, helpers, givers, among others. Scriptural examples of women that have operated in their spiritual gifts and functioned as ministers are: Miriam (Exodus 15:20), Deborah (Judges 4:4-5), Huldah (2 Kings 22; Judges 22:14); Noadiah (Nehemiah 6:14), Anna (Luke 2:36-37), and the daughters of Philip the evangelist (Acts 21:8-9), among others. Of course, in this present age, many successful women ministers are flowing in the Spirit and the power of God.

Any woman that values the Holy Spirit and His gifts will try hard to be blameless in spirit, soul, and body. She wouldn’t be comfortable being around any man who devalue her or look down on the Holy Spirit she carries. Also, she would not do anything that griefs the Holy Spirit. And don’t grieve God’s Holy Spirit. You were sealed by Him for the day of redemption. All bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ (Ephesians 4:30-32). Therefore, any woman that has the Holy Spirit and is still messing up her life is lacking a sense of value that God placed on her.

The relationship context …

In a relationship context, the woman deserves to be honoured by the man in terms of how she is treated. For instance, while speaking to her, she deserves the use of proper words, phrases, and sentences. Foul and abusive words should not be used at her because of her value; she should not be abused sexually or verbally; sexy pictures should not be sent to her to arouse her; her sensitive part should not be fondled; the picture of her nakedness should not be demanded; her undies should be hidden from men and no man should want to see her nakedness or have sex with her except her husband.

Likewise, the woman who understands her value would not expose her nakedness to anyone who is not her husband yet; she would not have sex until she is married; she would not have or share her nude pictures with anyone; she would not send or receive social media symbols that represent sexual activities such as kissing, fondling, or sexing; she would cover herself in the public and ensure that her breast, buttocks, hips, navel, tummy, ‘private part’ and other sensitive and attractive parts of her body are well covered; she would not throw herself on any man she likes; she would control her emotion and wait for interested man to woo her; she would not be seen as a cheap commodity where ‘anybody’ can buy; she wouldn’t be desperate to marry irrespective of her age; she would not be forced to marry anyone she doesn’t like; she would not hangout with married men; she would not have romantic chat with married men; she would not collect recharge card or money from her admirers and she would take responsibility to do what is right.  

I have observed that women or girls that don’t understand their value are the ones messing up themselves in relationships; they are the ones masturbating, fornicating, lusting and jumping from one man to another in the name of relationships; they are the ones committing abortion, and taking pills to dissolve the baby in their womb; they are the ones following married men to hotels and parties without the fear of God. But the good news is that anyone that turns to the Lord is helped to regain her values.

 

HOW TO REGAIN AND RETAIN YOUR VALUE AS A WOMAN

The Fear of the Lord

“Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised. Give her the reward of her labor, and let her works praise her at the city gates” (Proverbs 31:30-31).

When a woman fears the Lord, she is building her values. Thus, the degree to which men value her is the degree to which she fears the Lord. Nobody will value her more than she fears the Lord. All her knowledge about relationships and marriage is in vain without the fear of God. “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” It is true that fools despise wisdom and instruction and then try to make their relationships work. No! It doesn’t work like that! The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge about relationships, marriage, and life. It doesn't start with whom should I marry?; how would I know the right person?; how would I marry on time?; or what is the will of God? It starts with the “Fear of the Lord”.

The fear of the Lord means keeping the commandments of God and departing from evil to escape from His punishment (Psalm 111:10; Job 28:28; Romans 2:6-9). “… by the fear of the Lord, men depart from evil” (Proverbs 16:6). “Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man” (Ecclesiastes 12:13). Therefore, it is the fear of the Lord that can make a woman keep herself holy and refuse to follow her friends and mess up her life. Without the fear of the Lord, nothing changes even if she receives counsel every day. Of course, the best counsel is the one that makes one fear the Lord. The worse counsel is the one that exposes one to knowledge without the fear of the Lord. This is why at OTUSUM COUNSELLING CLINIC, we try as much as possible to point people back to the fear of the Lord so they can get knowledge, wisdom, and understanding.

“Come, children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the Lord” (Psalm 34:11). The fear of the Lord is taught and people must humble themselves and listen to the teachings. Thus, as women are learning the fear of the Lord, they are regaining and retaining the value of womanhood, and men are honouring them. Nobody honours what is not valuable. There must be value before honour! Therefore, as women are regaining their value they are gaining honour in their relationship and the character of Christ is manifesting in their life.

The Character of Christ

Another typical way to regain and retain the value of womanhood is to cultivate the character of Christ. The character of Christ simply refers to the personality characteristics of Christ which are seen in how He behaves, talks, or acts. Fortunately, we are called to have the same character that Christ has by conforming to His image (Romans 8:29-30).

 “Your beauty should not consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold ornaments or fine clothes. Instead, it should consist of what is inside the heart with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very valuable in God’s eyes (1 Peter 3:3-4). What is inside the heart, which is the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, produces the character of Christ outwardly. Thus, what is seen as the character of Christ in someone’s life is a result of the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit which was also in Christ (Colossians 2:5-10).

The value of a woman is not seen in her beauty but her character. Beauty is good, but it will not make men to stop abusing, embarrassing, or harassing her. Nobody places high lasting value on a woman because she is beautiful. Rather, her outward beauty without the Character of Christ may lead to double embarrassment. Men may not value her because she wears fine cloth and expensive shoes, and make expensive hair. They may not stop insulting her unless they find something precious in her, and that is the character of Christ.

The character of Christ manifests as fruits. In the same way, every good tree produces good fruit, but a bad tree produces bad fruit. A good tree can’t produce bad fruit; neither can a bad tree produce good fruit. So you’ll recognize them by their fruit (Matthew 7:17-18, 20). This implies that the kind of fruits a woman produces in her relationship and marriage determines the value she gains. Men know them by their fruits and relate with them accordingly. Therefore, it is good to produce the fruits of the spirit to gain much value. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, self-control. Against such things, there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, we must also follow the Spirit" (Galatians 5:22-25).

You can cultivate these fruits by a conscious or a deliberate effort of building one after another. “For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with goodness, goodness with knowledge, knowledge with self-control, self-control with endurance, endurance with godliness, godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they will keep you from being useless or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. The person who lacks these things is blind and shortsighted and has forgotten the cleansing from his past sins (2 Peter 1:5-9).

Friends, if any woman observes to do all that is written in this article, she will be called “A virtuous woman” and she will have a very high value (Proverbs 31:10-31). I encourage everyone coming in contact with the article to carefully understand and practice its contents to restore the value of womanhood in our society. God bless you!


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